who will..
sing my fav peaceful song to me just to make me sleep
lend shoulder to me to make me feel comfortable
accept my every unglam moments no matter what
plan trips and savings as far as possible
entertain me with all sorts of nonsense
never get angry w me when i behave like a kid
treat me w tender when im sick
laugh together even for simply nothing
compromise w me so well and makes things seem so perfect
be there 24/7 my specialised hotline

its you my baby rena
w loves,
Tayorn

P.S. i don't love you for what you wear, how you look,
       but i just love you internally with your wonderful character

i think im used to being alone.
cox i dont feel the loneliness anymore.
almost everything im doing it alone.
im glad that most of my frens are attached now.
they commit in it. with bless. congrats.
tmr is valentine's day. but it doesnt seems to be any special to me.
i did try to hint but i guess it was being overlooked.
its ok. no nid prepare. much of a free person.
exams are coming. mock papers first.
im going for a short getaway soon before mock starts.
just need some different kinda air.
happy v day to all.

why cant i enjoy my life with the amount i earned it myself?
why cant i be happy?
why cant i pamper myself a little more?
why are you not sharing the burden?
why must i handle all these?
why are u still treating me this way?
why i need to put in so much but gain nth?
why i have to cry cox im too piss?
why dont u realise ur mistake?
why do u always think that im obliged to be doing all these?
why do you have t create all these and put me on burden?
why m i so stress up when im only 20 yrs old?
why do i feel so not appreciated?
why i feel as if this is the only path and i must walk it thru?
why i dun feel that im young anymore?
why must i be forced to face all these?
why why why why why?!!?!?!
endless of questions. i found no answer at all.
im gonna cry anytime but i held it tight.
i will hold it tight.
i had enough

im Tayorn.

you forgot. and you would just come up with reasons that somehow seems like an excuse.
why i work full time but im still not having enough money at all
its not because i spent it all, i saved it all, is because,
i gave it all.

have to pull myself back to reality,facing the situations i have to.
no grumbles, nothing, gave it all.
but most of the time, im laughing at myself, being stucked at this kinda situation.
cant get out in a short term, i see the long term burden, i see it clearly.

being a 20, facing all this, isnt easy at all.
im just getting tired, or rather can i stop everything right now?

i jus got to know from my mum.
how big the sum is right now.
its rolling so tremendously.
i felt so lost. yes, i really need money.
things aint going well all along. all along.
i need to earn more money.
much much more.
thats all for my life, right now.
u should have said it long ago,
so that i could have stopped studying for the time being.
u get it? now making everything so wtf.
simply screwed up.
thanks or wad

wo hao lei hao lei.
i dont know what im holding onto anymore.
i dun dare cox i cant make promises.im scared there will b disappontments agn.
but im feeling so stuck in somewhere.
wo hao xiang hao xiang ni  de yi qie.
i want to be in just our world, thats all i wanna care for.
blessings t u.

'ru guo ni ye ting shuo, you mei you xiang guo wo.
xiang bu tong jiu peng you, hai shi ni yi ran hui xin teng wo.'

'she bu de you wu ke nai he'

go through all these, then i realise, there's only you who knows me best.

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

since when i start to have the word 'paranoid' in my life?
this has been torturing me. and i swear im gonna get out of everything.
being secured isnt something which is being done by urself.
but is someone proving u that everything is alright always.
dont fail being this, cox u will fail in keeping one.

exam coming soon in 2 wks time.
and everyday im leading a robot life.
shall c how things go.
its my life.
let me decide.

finally a company accepted me.
and yea i know its time to get decent.
get an office job and get really started abt my future.
its at commonwealth and it starts at 830 everyday.
omg means i have t wake up like... 630? or earlier. =\
i hope the environment and colleagues are good.
and yea i need the money to survive and savings.
and after work will be chionging to school for bridging courses.
hope i will be able to cope. =\

i guess i need running.
close my eyes and run. i feel much better.

i start to learn how to really sit back and think rational about things
its hard to really differentiate between who's right or wrong.
but i tink it doesnt really matter as long as we are able to forgive n forget.
its up to us on whether we want to do it or not.
hanging onto stuffs that will make us sad,make us quarrel will only make us stuck at this certain point.
its really no point bugging onto something which had happened
what really is imp is that we both is willing to let go of it and continue our path.
life is not that smooth. but at least there is someone out there gg thru all these w u.
but rmb this, tt someone isnt perfect afterall.
she makes mistakes, she makes u angry, she makes u sad.
we are all humans. its inevitable. imperfection.
but its just how u rli see and portray the whole situation.
how imp tt person is compared to all these small little quarrels.
is really all up to you and your thinking.
cherish those that are now closely around you.